Damian H. Dancy led police on a 20-minute pursuit after officers stopped him for driving a vehicle with no license plates and for blocking traffic. He said that he was unsure what to do when he saw an officer approaching with what looked like a gun, so he tried to drive to his aunt’s house. "I wasn’t trying to run or nothing," he claims.

When police eventually caught up with Dancy, he was arrested on suspicion of resisting arrest and possession of drug paraphernalia.

Dancy has now been identified as a suspect in a shooting that took place on December 16th.

Where's auntie when you need her?

columbiatribune

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 10:22 AM | Permalink

AND IF YOU SPOT A GROUP OF BIKERS, THEN BACK OUT QUIETLY..

The machete wielding masked bandits who burst into the Regents Park Sporting Club in Sydney, obviously hadn't thought things through properly. As they ordered the occupants of the bar to lie down on the floor they failed to notice the 50 bikers in the next room.

President of the Southern Cross Cruiser Club, Jerry 'Jester' van Cornewal. said, 'Fifty of us jumped out of our seats and raced out to the main bar.'

In an effort to escape, one of the robbers charged through a locked glass door, leapt off a 16ft balcony and ran through a bowling green, while the other ran through an exit behind the bar. The bikers tied up one of the men and waited for police to arrive. Police soon also located the second robber nearby. A 20-year-old man and a 16-year-old were charged with attempted robbery.

The final word must go to Club founder, Noel 'Bear' Mannix, who said, 'It was very hard to see the expression on their faces because of the balaclavas, but I imagine it was something along lines of "Oh s***, what have we done here?"'

Ananova

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 10:11 AM | Permalink

Unless fallen pop idol, Michael Jackson, pays a balance of nearly $25 million he will lose his Neverland ranch; which will be sold to the highest bidder. The county recorder's Web site shows that a Notice of Trustees Sale was filed against Neverland Valley Ranch on Monday.

Jackson has rarely visited his once beloved ranch since his acquittal of child molestation charges in 2005, and in 2006 state authorities ordered the property shuttered and fined Jackson for failing to pay his employees or maintain proper insurance. The zoo animals have reportedly been removed.

Should have stopped before he got enough, shouldn't he.

Reuters

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 08:19 AM | Permalink

Livia Kovacs, who works as a policewoman for the Budapest police force, has received her marching orders following her appearance in a Triple X rated movie. Kovacs played the part of a dominatrix who uses her police handcuffs and a truncheon during a wild sex session. Unfortunately for the aspiring actress, the film was seen by one of her colleagues, who reported her to senior officers.

Isn't that a pot and kettle situation? If Kovacs was sacked for appearing in the movie, shouldn't the filmgoer be sacked for watching porn?

Anyway, no matter, Ms Kovacs is reported to have said, "I don't care about being fired. Since news spread about my acting debut I have been flooded with offers from producers to do more films." Must have been a seminal performance then.

Ananova

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 08:03 AM | Permalink

PARTICULARLY IF YOU'RE A ROBBER AND THE PERSON YOU WANT TO DATE IS THE PERSON YOU ROBBED.

In Genoa, Bruno Perez went into the post office and forced Lucia Marcelo to hand over the money at gun point but afterwards he just couldn't help thinking about her. So the next day he used some of the money he had stolen to buy Lucia a large bouquet of flowers, and then returned to the post office where he apologized and asked her for a date.

The attraction obviously wasn't mutual because Lucia kept him talking while she activated the silent panic alarm connected to the police station. The poor romantic fool was arrested minutes later.

Ah, the path of true love ne'er did run smooth.

Ananova

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:18 AM | Permalink

In British Columbia, startled motorists contacted the police to report the fact that three people were having sex. Nothing wrong with that you might think - good luck to 'em. Thing is, there were in a car on the Trans Canada Highway at the time.

The three, erm, performers, - a male and two females - were described as 'wanting to attract attention from other motorists.' Well, I suppose, having sex would be the way to do it - especially since the male participant was also driving the car.

The owner of the vehicle was traced from the license plates and officers went to that address to await the car's return, Rice said.

On arrival, only one of the women was inside with the male driver, who said he had dropped the other woman off. The woman has been sent off for psychiatric reports but - get this - as the police did not witness the sex acts, the man can only be charged with driving without due care and attention.

Some guys have all the luck, eh?

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:08 AM | Permalink

You get an extra one today, because the last post wasn't really legal was it.

You know how when you're drunk you sometimes just gotta pee? Well, just check your location carefully before you do. On Friday afternoon last, a man chose the wrong building and ended up in jail.

Front desk staff at the Appleton Police Department called for an officer shortly after 4 p.m. Friday when a 40-year-old man began urinating in front of the police station. He was issued a citation for public urination and, since he was on probation, he was placed in jail for violating his probation.

Bet he got his shoes wet as well - he was 4 times over the legal limit.

Appleton Post-Crescent

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 10:09 AM | Permalink

BUT IF YOU'RE SENSIBLE, THE FIRST THING YOU DO IS MAKE SURE YOUR BOSS IS NOT AROUND TO SEE YOUR BRAVERY!

Ian Wilkinson was flying a 230-ton 777-300ER on its maiden flight when he decided to liven things up a little. He had just flown the 365-seater jet from Boeing's plant in Seattle, Washington, when he wheeled it around and careered over the airstrip at 280 knots with his landing gear raised. The stunt was impressive; when the plane landed in Hong Kong there were congratulations all round. Unfortunately, the chairman of his employer, Cathay Pacific, was on board the plane to experience Wilkinson's Top Gun moment. To make matters worse, when his VIP passengers saw a video of the stunt on YouTube (it's been taken down so don't rush off!) they were horrified at just how low the plane actually flew over the runway.

As a result Wilkinson has been fired from his $500,000-a-year post as Senior Pilot for Cathay Pacific's Boeing 777 fleet.

So what's the legal link here? He's considering an appeal (and it was such a joyous story that I couldn't resist!)

The Sun

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:56 AM | Permalink

Tucker Chapman, the son of Dog the Bounty Hunter, was forcibly removed to the Oahu Correction Facility last Friday for violating multiple terms of his parole.

Dog the Bounty Hunter discovered that his annoying Pup was involved in drugs and threatened to tell the boy's parole officer. In return, Tucker taped his dad in the middle of a bigoted rant about the son's black girlfriend; a rant that resulted in Dog the B's show being pulled from the airwaves.

However, Tucker's parole officer performed a surprise home inspection and found reasons to take Tucker into the slammer. Fido apparently has a string of violations included associating with felons, failing a drug test and escaping from a rehab facility.

Chicago Tribune

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:38 AM | Permalink

April Smith got drunk - after that, it all turned into a rather manic Sunday.

Smith's boyfriend had to summon the help of the police when she jumped on him and ripped his tee shirt from his body . He knew that the passion his girlfriend was expressing wasn't lust when she tried to choke him and then bit him so hard on the leg that the imprints of her teeth were clearly visible some time later. When the poor lamb initially tried to phone for help, Smith pulled the cord from the wall, meaning that her boyfriend had to use his cell phone to summon the assistance he needed.

If you're gonna be a sado, you should link up with a masochist, otherwise it just doesn't work.

April Smith was arrested and charged with domestic violence and obstructing the report of a crime. She was issued bail conditions not to have contact with the man nor return to the residence, and not to use alcohol.

Hmm - that just about covers all options. She'll just have to eat chocolate and get her kicks that way.

The Maine Edge

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 11:28 AM | Permalink

OOPS SORRY - ONLY ONE IN THIS STORY

(if you aren't up on Gilbert and Sullivan's Mikado - you should be!)

A Japanese man who turned up at a high school dressed in a girls' uniform and long wig was arrested for trespassing this week. He was pushing it a bit - he was 39 years old! He had purchased the uniform over the internet and put it on to take a little stroll around the school . However, when the students standing outside the gates started to scream at the sight of him, he dashed inside the school grounds. Apparently he thought he might be able to blend in with the crowds of teenagers. As the man fled, he lost his wig. He was arrested by police after being stopped by a pursuing school clerk.

And just in case you don't know your Gilbert & Sullivan - this is the verse that immediately sprang to mind:

Three little maids from school are we,
Pert as a school-girl well can be,
Filled to the brim with girlish glee,
Three little maids from school

Nobody, but nobody, is still pert at 39 years old.

Reuters

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 11:17 AM | Permalink

It was in July of last year that Peter Adamson, former Lord Mayor of Darwin, was found guilty of stealing from the council $2758 in goods and gift vouchers. Last week, he lost his appeal against that verdict.

What is intriguing about Adamson, is what he bought with his ill-gotten gains: items included a refrigerator, women's underwear, hair dye, and a Darth Vader voice distorter.

Impressive, most impressive - we underestimate the power of the Dark Side!

News.com.au

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 10:44 AM | Permalink

Kevin Fraser must be particularly stupid. He threatened to shoot a woman, and then taped knives to his hands and armed himself with a fire extinguisher in order to fend off the police.

Fraser had obviously never heard of tasers. He knows all about them now. having been on the receiving end of one before his arrest and transport to the Orange County Jail.

Fraser was tasered - has quite a good buzz to it, doesn't it. Or, what about Edward Dumbhands?

Local6.com

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 10:34 AM | Permalink

This one is both funny and tragic.

Ivan Segedin had a thing about wearing a seat belt when he was driving; quite a big thing actually - he was fined 32 times between February 2003 and July 2007 for not wearing one. To get the traffic cops off his back, he mocked up a pretend seatbelt - a long strap had been knotted above the seatbelt on the driver's side, providing a belt to simply sit over his shoulder and thus fool observers that he was safely strapped in to his vehicle.

He found out the hard way that it didn't work. Segedin was killed in July last year when his car crossed the road and collided head-on with an oncoming vehicle. It is supreme irony that wearing a seat belt may well have saved his life - his fatal injuries were caused when he was thrown forward on to the steering wheel in a low-impact crash.

Mostly, you live and learn. Unfortunately for poor old Ivan, he died because he refused to learn. Ah well...

Stuff.co.nz

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 10:21 AM | Permalink

Kyeisha Fuller was awaiting arraignment Wednesday on charges of assault and weapon possession.

Well, the guy she stabbed did call her ugly during an argument - there was absolutely no need for him to stoop to that level, no matter how heated the argument!

Foxnews.com

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 10:19 AM | Permalink

A man charged with indecent exposure says it was an accident caused by his shirt getting stuck in his zipper. Yeah, right!

Apparently the man, who usually goes commando, got his shirt tail caught in the zipper and that "when he tried to put it back" it was too late.

He was fined $465 and told by the judge to "get pants with a zipper that works or start wearing drawers."

Quite, either that or stop flashing your dick.

UPI

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 10:12 AM | Permalink

In Korea a man has been held for questioning yesterday following a the report of a fire at his flat in Seoul. Following their attendance, police were called and the man was detained on suspicion of cooking his landlady's pet chihuahua.

The accused was drunk, stony broke, and apparently hungry. As he was searing the dog, he accidentally set fire to his clothes.

Stupid man - everybody knows its the dachshund that is the sausage dog; the chihuahua wasn't designed to go in a bun. Mind you, if he'd put it in a slow cooker, he might have got away with it.

news.com.au

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:50 AM | Permalink

NOW HERE'S THE MERCEDES URINAL.

Well, it would have been here but the guy who was building it has been arrested.

In Taiwan, Wang Chi-sheng, is suspected of stealing a urinal sensor, which he said he planned to use to modify a Mercedes Benz car. Taiwanese police confess to laughing when they heard of Wang's plans to use the sensors to test out his latest improvement designs for the luxury motor.

According to Taiwan Mercedes' technicians department, Wang is not only stupid - he is dangerous too. They caution that his plans could lead to creating an electric current that leads to the engine, which would cause it to ignite and possibly even explode.

You have been warned Sir - put that urinal sensor down!

The China Post

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 10:04 AM | Permalink

In Kentucky, burglar Rodney McMillen has made an exhibition of himself - literally. Not content with just breaking into a family home, he did so wearing a thong (backwards) and video taped himself in the act. To help police find him, he thoughtfully left some footage of his family on the end of the tape, and left the recording behind when he made off with his spoils.

McMillen was discovered hiding out at his mother's house and charged with first degree burglary.

Metro UK

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:56 AM | Permalink

When Thomas Ballard finally killed all the baddies on his video game, he called up his buddy and triumphantly crowed, "I've killed them all."

It was a wrong number. The worried receiver of the call, who had Ballard's number on caller id, reported her concerns to the police and they, quite understandably, turned up at the triumphant gamer's home in force.

After searching his home to ensure no one had been murdered on the scene, police found a 5-year-old warrant from Baton Rouge for failure to appear on a possession of cocaine charge. Poor Ballard is now at the Richland Parish Detention Center awaiting extradition to Baton Rouge.

Ah well, you can't win 'em all.

The News Star

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:18 AM | Permalink

Okay, I'm sure this guy is a celebrity in some folk's eyes - DJ Raymond Bingham, better known as Grooverider, has been jailed for four years after having been caught in possession of marijuana in Dubai.

Now, I know I'm getting on in years but I've had my moments, and in none of those moments would I have considered taking drugs to Dubai. We all knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that these countries had a zero tolerance - and that was putting it very mildly indeed.

The 40-year-old disc jockey was arrested at Dubai airport on November 23 when customs officials found a transparent bag containing 2.16 grams of marijuana in his luggage.

Reuters

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:07 AM | Permalink

Boxer Oscar De La Hoya failed to show for a scheduled court appearance on Friday, when he was due to answer allegations of fraud, defamation and the infliction of emotional distress. The $25 million suit has been brought against De La Hoya by his ex-lover, Milana Dravnel, who is also an ex-striptease artist. The case is based on photographs taken of an unusually clad De La Hoya last May. In the pictures, the welterweight boxer is wearing fishnets and a tutu.

When told of De La Hoya's no show, Dravnel also left, leaving the judge to preside over a case where there was no plaintiff and no defendant.

Quite apt really - a lot of hot air about nothing.

New York times

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 10:53 AM | Permalink

In Sweden, police responded to a call about a man masturbating in a stairwell. On arrival, they arrested the, erm manual laborer, and sat him in the back of the cruiser. But the man apparently just couldn't help himself (or, rather, he couldn't stop helping himself) and he continued with his staff meeting unabated.

During the roughly 40 minute drive back to the station in the neighboring town of Nässjö, the man continued to feel his way around, prompting police to check their records for other cases of incessant self-gratification. They found that the guy habitually held his own in local churches and public places.

Good job he wasn't in Indonesia. The punishment for roughing up the suspect there is decapitation.

The Local

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 10:38 AM | Permalink

BUT IN NEW HAMPSHIRE THEY WEAR A BLACK COCKTAIL DRESS, FISH NET STOCKINGS, HIGH HEELS - AND DRIVE UNDER THE INFLUENCE!

A Boston-based federal bankruptcy judge, who has just announced his resignation, was recently arrested for drunk driving. At the time of the arrest, he wore a black cocktail dress, fish-net stockings and high heels. He was picked up after rear-ending a pick up truck; dressed like that I suspect that it wasn't a pick up truck he was intending to rear-end.

The police records of the arrest don't make any mention of his clothing, other than to comment that "he had a difficult time locating his license in his purse." A friend of mind has commented that the root cause of this matter is very clear - if you dress like a woman, you drive like one.

Hmm...

Union Leader

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:37 AM | Permalink

In Cameron, Texas, last week, police confiscated a toilet in a drug investigation. Desperate to get to the bottom of the story, they ripped the toilet up from the floor and then dug out the sewer line. They were flushed with success when they found bags of cocaine. The theory is that Frank Earl Evans, 32, of Cameron, had flushed the bags down the toilet when police arrived to search his house.

Evans is probably also feeling a little flushed and hot under the collar - but not with success - he has been charged with tampering with physical evidence and escape causing bodily injury charges. Apparently an officer suffered a knee injury during a scuffle with him.

Bond was set at $55,000 for Evans, who is jailed in Milam County.

My Way News

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:12 AM | Permalink

but that's enough of Paul McCartney's personal life.

Sir Paul McCartney is said to have agreed to a historic divorce settlement which will see Heather Mills walk away with a record £55million, the Daily Mail reported today. Just think of how many new legs Heather can buy with that little lot - why, she could have a new one very day!

Apparently, she found it hard to contain her joy yesterday. Well, I'm not surprised - they were only married for four years, so she's earned nearly £14,000,000 per year. I just hope that her 15 minutes of fame is now over.

Daily Mail

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:19 AM | Permalink

Jeffrey Daniel Lucas, used to be a police officer with the Thunderbolt Police and, later, with the Rincon Police but, for undisclosed reasons, he left the force in January last year and is "no longer employed as a police officer in any jurisdiction.." according to Statesboro Police Chief Stan York.

Lucas, however, seemed to have forgotten that his days as a police officer were over. Responding to a call last week, Statesboro Police officers were told that Lucas flashed his badge and identified himself as a policeman before groping a woman. He had also engaged in inappropriate touching of a female and had detained a female as he searched through her wallet to verify her age and identity.

Mind you, looking at his photograph (follow the link below) I'm not surprised he had to resort to illegal means to get some female physical contact.

The ex-policeman has been charged with impersonating a police officer, false imprisonment, sexual battery, theft by receiving stolen property and public intoxication, He is being held in Bulloch County Jail, without bond.

statesboro herald

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 08:23 AM | Permalink

or will somebody be bailing Bai Ling out?

Actress Bai Ling (no, I've never heard of her either but apparently she was in a couple editions of Lost) has been booked on suspicion of shoplifting.

The actress(!) apparently pocketed two gossip magazines and two packs of AAA batteries from LAX airport shop, Crews of California. The total worth of her loot was $16.00 and she will appear in court on 5th May.

At least that's an appearance that can go in her portfolio. I just wonder what she wanted the batteries for!

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 08:26 AM | Permalink

In recent months, thousands of pounds in cash, gems and other valuables have been stolen from travelers on long-distance coach journeys. The thieves achieve their remarkable success rate by sneaking dwarves into the luggage holds in sports bags. Once inside the coach, they slip out from their hiding place and rifle through passengers' belongings. When they've got their haul, they sneak back into their hiding place and come out again when the coach reaches its destination, passing their spoils onto the 'big' boss.

A spokesman for Swebus, one of the targeted coach companies, said, "We have had reports about several thefts by dwarves on the stretch between Vasteras and Stockholm."

Send in the dogs, I say, that'll sniff 'em out.

Telegraph

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:20 AM | Permalink

don't stop off at the bank first!

Two German guys, Johann Maier, 20, and Walter Brey, 22, dressed up as bank robbers for a fancy dress party but, as you do, they went into their bank to draw out some money first. They were spotted by a passer by, who took note of their registration number and then called the police.

The boys were found two hours later at a disco. Apparently, they will now be required to foot the bill for the police operation.

What is it they say about the German sense of humor? Oh, that's it, they don't have one.

Ananova

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:10 AM | Permalink

In England Hannah Wozniak has been charged with wasting emergency services time and making threatening phone calls after calling 999 (911) to demand a man for sexual services. It wasn't just the emergency services she called either, her total of 700 calls also included telephone pleas to the local army headquarters and the town council. In my experience, the town council won't even come round to unblock my pipes, let alone fill the bloody things!

The poor, frustrated woman even told the emergency services that she would happily start a fire if it meant that a hunky fireman would come round and have sex with her afterwards.

See, I suppose it all depends on your definition of 'emergency.'

Wozniak faces a year in jail - she's not gonna get much there either is she!

The Sun

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 11:44 AM | Permalink

Brian Sterner was arrested on a traffic violation and taken to Orient Road Jail in Tampa, Florida, by Deputy Charlette Jones. Thing is, Sterner is a quadriplegic and, although he can drive, he needs a wheelchair to get about. It seems that Deputy Jones didn't believe it possible for a quadriplegic to drive a car so, when she saw Sterner in his wheelchair, she walked behind him and took hold of the handles, and tipped him out.

Then, to rub salt into the wound, while Sterner was on the floor, deputies frisked him.

Understandably, Jones has been suspended without pay. The report goes on to say "she has not been officially terminated." Well, I should hope not - what she did was despicable, but the death sentence is a bit OTT!

Sterner says it's incredibly degrading and it’s an example of how poorly trained the Hillsborough Sheriff's Office is. He adds, if they’re trying to figure out if somebody needs to be in a wheelchair or not, there are many other ways to do it than to dump somebody on their face.

Quite. Don't try this at home, kids.

tampabays10.com

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 11:19 AM | Permalink

The ABC network are facing a proposed fine of $1.4 million for alleged indecency for broadcasting an episode of NYPD Blue that featured a woman's buttocks and the side of one of her breasts before the 10 p.m. watershed.

ABC are opposing the fine (well, they would, wouldn't they) because they say the true to life storylines of this critically acclaimed drama were well recognized.

$1.4 million is a lot of money for a bum and just half a boob, I dread to think what a whole boob would cost.

Reuters

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 10:10 AM | Permalink

After a power black out that affected 795 customers in Derbyshire, England, engineers found a hacksaw embedded in a live 11,000 voltage cable. By its side was a lit blowtorch. The way things were left suggests that whoever had been holding the hacksaw made a quick getaway - disappeared in a puff of smoke perhaps.

A public service organization, Crimestoppers, is offering a $200 reward. I imagine that the culprit will have spiky hair and will be able to illuminate light bulbs just like Uncle Festus did, just by putting them in his mouth.

BBC

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 10:01 AM | Permalink

Michael Thomas Isaacson faced a year in the county jail when he pleaded guilty to unarmed robbery but, instead, he asked to be sent to prison. He said he thought time in prison would help in his rehabilitation. So the judge sentenced him to 17 months to 15 years in state prison, with a recommendation for a psychological evaluation and counseling.

There's nowt so strange as criminals.

6abc.com

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 08:45 AM | Permalink

Or should that be POTTY OF WOODSVILLE?

19 year old Kristian Allen from Pottsville in Pennsylvania convinced a 15-year-old girl that he was part werewolf and part vampire - and then sexually assaulted her. To prove that he was what he said he was, he showed the police his canine teeth and seemed unperturbed when an officer told him that all mammals possessed them. Well he's got no worries anyway because he says he has a guardian dragon to protect him from evildoers.

It would be funny, except the girl believed him, and said he was her boyfriend.

Carl remains free on $25,000 unsecured bail - that's nice to know, isn't it?

chron.com

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 08:37 AM | Permalink

In July, 70-year-old Betty Perry was arrested, handcuffed and briefly jailed for declining a ticket for failing to water her lawn. But, on Friday of last week she agreed to resolve her case by pleading guilty to disorderly conduct charge and paying a $100 fine, as well as serving six months probation. I think this is just plain ridiculous, but its not as ridiculous of what she would have faced had she not agreed to the disorderly conduct charge.

Perry faced a charge of resisting arrest because she refused to give her name, accept a citation or allow herself to be handcuffed on her front steps. Meanwhile, rapists, muggers, and murderers are getting away with their crimes!

Oh, and Perry has now started to care for her lawn - I'd just let the bloody thing grow wild and start keeping wild animals in it!

AP

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 10:26 AM | Permalink

but being caught driving under the influence of alcohol three times within five hours is just plain stupid!

However, that is exactly what happened to a 23-year old woman from Brisbane, Australia. Her first capture was at just gone 6 a.m., which was followed by another police stop at 7 a.m., and the same again at 10.00 a.m. - when she was finally arrested.

Perhaps she should take to lying in bed in the mornings.

news.com.au

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 10:21 AM | Permalink

In England, a man has been arrested for exposing his genitals in the vegetable aisle of a large supermarket.

Richard Stofer got out his meat and two veg at Tesco (Fresh and Save in the US) in Eastbourne - a store where he actually used to work. He paraded his wares to former colleagues, who immediately called the police. Apparently, they always thought he was a bit weird anyway.

Stofer's defense was that he had unintentionally exposed his bits due to the design of his underwear. He must have been wearing the same shorts back in 2005 when he was given a five-year Antisocial behavior order for exposing himself - one of a string of similar incidents.

Warning, if you see a pink zucchini - don't pick it up.

metro.co.uk

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 08:39 AM | Permalink

A 47 old teacher in Sweden was incensed when one of her boy students covered the blackboard with swearwords and sexual drawings - so she retaliated by flashing her breasts! She claimed that there was nothing sexual in this action, it was simply a response to the boy's rudeness. She said, "I just snapped. I was trying to get him to stop writing and drawing filth on the blackboard." Yes, well I'm sure he did stop writing, I mean, you would, wouldn't you.

She was convicted of sexual harassment but cleared of charges that she groped two other boys' buttocks and genitals, as the court decided that the boys' evidence was not reliable. Additionally, the teacher lost her job and was ordered to pay $800 to the boy as compensation for his trauma at seeing her breasts.

Either her tits were really ugly, or the law is an ass.

Metro.co.uk

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 08:28 AM | Permalink

The timing couldn't have been worse for James Edward Bridges to attempt to rob a gas station - because one of the other customers just happened to be an off-duty jailer.

As Bridges stepped behind the counter, shoved the clerk out of the way, and started taking bank notes from the cash register, the off-duty jailer went into action and whacked the robber upside the head with a six-pack of beer. Then another customer helped the jailer pin Bridges to the floor.

Bridges didn't give in easily though. When police arrived he resisted arrest, kicking and fighting, which resulted in a charge of a battery on an officer – in addition to a felony count of robbery.

The robber had to take a detour to the hospital on his way to jail - for medical attention to the cut on his head caused by the beer bottles.

That beer certainly went to his head.

KTVB.COM

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 08:15 AM | Permalink

I do hope they can, because this is the first Dumb Celebrity news I've been able to post for ages. Sure there's Britney and Amy but I don't believe in kicking a woman when she's already down - where's the sport in that?

But, I hear that fashion designer Mark Jacobs' company is under investigation for allegedly attempting to bribe a state armory into letting them hold a fashion show there.

On Wednesday, New York State Attorney, Andrew Cuomo, announced that a former superintendent of the 69th Regiment Armory, James Jackson, had been indicted for extortion and bribery. Jackson ran the armory for over eight years, and is charged with demanding over $30,000 to allow Marc Jacobs to hold fashion shows and other events at the facility.

The armory is the home of military units currently deployed in Afghanistan and Iraq. Maybe Marc Jacobs should join them, taking James Jackson with him.

Reuters

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:25 AM | Permalink

In Germany, a 50 year old man has been charged with causing the death of his wife - by sitting on her. During an argument, the 280lb man sat on his wife's chest for at least two minutes, breaking 18 of her ribs in the process. The woman died less than a month later from her injuries. In his defense, the man said that he had fallen onto his wife as he tried to drag her to another room (oh, that's okay then!) but that was disproved by forensic evidence.

metro.co.uk

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 08:14 AM | Permalink

According to prosecutors, Edward Trevor Aldridge, 47, was so incensed by the behavior of the man standing at the next urinal, that he punched him - twice. Apparently, Aldridge formed the impression that his victim did not comply with the urinal etiquette of keeping his gaze firmly fixed in front of him. To add insult to injury, the victim didn't just look, he also, allegedly, smirked. Aldridge was enraged and lashed out - he got 50 hours community service for his trouble.

See - you can look at another guy's penis but, whatever you do, don't smirk!

metro.co.uk

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 08:04 AM | Permalink

Twenty year old Pierre Lynch of Washington, D.C. was found to be hiding fifteen bags of crack cocaine in his butt. Police had gone to his home because they suspected that he had been involved in dealing drugs.

Lynch was charged with possession with the intent to distribute crack cocaine, possession of crack cocaine, possession of drug paraphernalia, obstructing and hindering and making a false statement to police officers. Well, I don't know about the rest of the charges but he was certainly obstructing.

Fox

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 10:19 AM | Permalink

When police responded to calls about a 'one-car crash' on Saturday a guy with no shirt and his pants unzipped was running away from the scene; when police caught up with the man, Matthew Justin Clark, they found he was drunk. On returning to the vehicle, police then questioned Katie Ann Stewart, who said she had been the driver of the vehicle - despite the fact that witnesses had clearly seen Clark behind the wheel.

The couple were taken to the police station, where the penalties for DUI were explained to Stewart - who immediately changed her story. She told officers that she had been performing oral sex on Clark at the time of the crash. Rather belatedly, she was instructed by Clark to shut her mouth.

Strangely - the two were put into a cell together, where Clark was repeatedly heard to try to talk Stewart into taking the blame.

Oh, and when officers searched Clark, they found a Viagra pill in his pocket! If he'd already taken one, that would account for those unzipped pants. It'll take forever to go down!

All together now - fellatios a jolly good fellow!

Charleston Daily Mail

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:46 AM | Permalink

A man who broke into an empty house in Malaysia, helped himself to cookies from the kitchen before going to sleep in a child's bedroom. He was discovered by the owners of the house when they returned from a shopping trip. He woke up when roused by police and later tested positive for drugs.

What happened to him afterwards is not reported but I don't suppose he is living happily after.

chron.com

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 10:33 AM | Permalink

..no, p'raps not!

In Florida, grandmother Henrietta Corvin Daise, was arrested at the end of last week for keeping cocaine in her bra.

Grandma apparently hid the drug in her bra during a raid at or near her home. Eight people were arrested during the raid, some of whom were Daise's grandchildren. The County Sheriff's Office said deputies conducted a search warrant on her home and found Daise with powder cocaine stuffed in her bra. Deputies also found 20 crack cocaine rocks, four grams of powder cocaine, marijuana and $1,000 in cash.

Mmm, a case of keep sniffing the Daise's!

My Way News

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 10:26 AM | Permalink

Grace Saenz-Lopez, a small-town mayor in the state of Texas, has resigned following the revelation that she stole her neighbors Shih Tzu dog, changing its name from Puddles to Panchito in the process.

Saenz-Lopez looked after Puddles/Panchito while her neighbors went on vacation; the day after the dog's owners set off, the erstwhile mayer called to tell them that the dog had died. The dog was let out of the basket when a relative of the neighbors saw Puddles/Panchito in a dog grooming parlor.

Saenz-Lopez, mayor of Alice since 2003, was indicted January 18 on two felony counts of tampering with evidence and concealing evidence.

As for poor Puddles/Panchito - he's just hoping that the next person to steal him will give him a sensible name.

The Denver Post

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:32 AM | Permalink

In Laramie, Wyoming, three 13-year-old girls have been cited for "hurling missiles" - an adult infraction covered by city ordinances. What did they do to attract such a charge? They threw French fries at lunch time! Yeah, its a pain in the butt when kids do that but we've all been guilty of the same or similar and, so far, WWIII hasn't broken out because of it.

Police Chief Bob Deutsch said "They saw it as really the planning of a riot, when you think about it." He was moved to make this remark because the school had been warned about throwing food around on the previous day - following rumors of an impending food fight.

Do you know what? Even the American Civil Liberties Union got involved! What next - suicide chip throwers?

kmov.com

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:23 AM | Permalink

if you intend to mug somebody, don't give them access to weapons to fight back!

In Missouri, two purse snatchers took on more than they bargained for when they tried to snatch the purses of two women shoppers. The women were unloading their groceries when the two would be thieves attempted to snatch their purses from the cart. These women, however, weren't the pushover their assailants believed them to be! One of the women grabbed a shovel from the suspects' pickup and smacked one of the men upside the head. The other woman jumped into the cab and attacked the other suspect, then grabbed the keys so he couldn't drive away.

The guy with the head wound needed to have it stapled shut and both of them were jailed, charged with robbery.

The phrase 'hoisted by their own petard' springs to mind!

My Way News

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:16 AM | Permalink

British cop, David Mayes, has been banned from driving after he took both hands off the steering wheel to give a thumbs-up to a speed camera. He was answering a 911 call at the time. Just to make sure he got his point across, PC Mayes repeated the performance just over an hour later on a second emergency call.

He posed twice to the same camera in a 40mph built-up area, the first time driving at 68mph and the second, 73mph. He was not breaking any laws as far as speed was concerned - the police are authorized to go at that speed when answering emergency calls. His ban was for "conduct (that) fell well below what we and the public expect.." The crux of the matter is that the policeman had both hands off the wheel for a couple of seconds.

In sentencing, Judge Entwistle told Mayes, "Such behaviour from a policeman, to whom we should be able to look up and respect, only increases the already floundering respect with which the public perceive the police."

Nope. The floundering respect is based on police taking up their time with piddling stuff like this while real
criminals go uncaught and unpunished.

Mayes now faces misconduct proceedings.

To see photographic evidence of Mayes dreadful misconduct, click here

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:17 AM | Permalink

You would think, wouldn't you, that if you were out on your rounds at night, delivering high-grade marijuana, you would make sure that you did nothing to attract attention to yourself. You certainly wouldn't drive round in the dark with your lights off.

Not so Gerardo Santana of El Paso. He was driving a rental truck that contained nearly 200 one-pound bricks of compressed marijuana with a street value of $450,000, when he was stopped by police because he didn't have his lights on. He is now in custody, charged with possession with the intent to deliver marijuana, driving on a revoked license and driving without headlights when required.

To paraphrase the old saying - the lights are out and no one's at home.

Chicago Sun Times

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 08:53 AM | Permalink

In Mesquite, Texas, a woman made up a false report against a police officer in order to get some sympathy (no I don't understand the logic of that one either!).

Shelby Knight-Lacey originally told police a man wearing a blue uniform ,with no patches or badges, and driving a white sedan with flashing red and blue lights on the dashboard, pulled her over and ordered her to get out of the car. When she didn't follow the man's instructions, he reached through the window and stunned her with a cattle prod.

A review of film from the area's security cameras showed no evidence to support her claims. Having been 'found out' in her lie, Knight-Lacey told police that "she had been arguing with her husband about money and made up the whole story to get sympathy."

With an imagination like that she should be writing story books.

My Way News

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 04:45 AM | Permalink

In England a jogger has been injured by a frozen candy bar.

The man was running along a main road in South Shields when an occupant of a passing car threw a rock-hard Mars bar at him. Police said the car then turned round, drove back past the shocked jogger, and its occupants threw another object at him before driving off.

The man suffered from a swollen ankle and an enforced break to his slimming campaign.

The Shields Gazette

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 04:32 AM | Permalink