IF HE ONLY HAD A BRAIN!
I hear that in Idaho Falls there is a thief of very little brain indeed. On a stolen videotape, our handkerchief-wearing thief taped message for his victim: pay a $3,000 ransom, and you can get your video games back. There was just one problem. The burglar forgot to include any instructions for dropping off the cash.
Well, actually, there was more than one problem. The other problem was that, although the message had been recorded back in November, the victim only got round to watching the entire tape last week. The original content of the tape was the birth of the woman's child, part of which has now been over-recorded. Imagine the horror of seeing a handkerchief wearing moron appearing between your legs, rather than the longed-for baby!
The burglar stole the woman's video games, a compact disc player, camera equipment, clothing and a video camera. What he really needs to steal, of course, is a brain.