In China, a woman came home to find a stranger wedged in her window and called the police. Now, Chinese police are obviously on the ball because they immediately concluded that the man stuck in the window must have been attempting to break into the house. So, they freed him - and then they arrested him.

The 26 year old man told police that he could no longer bear his manual job and had learned how to pry open doors and windows so he could break into houses. Methinks he should stick to doors.

China Daily

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:16 AM | Permalink

This story seems to be six of one and half-dozen of the other, so I'll leave it up to you to decide.

Six members of a family were arrested in an incident that began, benignly enough, over a pair of droopy jeans. Frantz Leger, aged 20, had returned to a mall where he was banned for violating its "Rules of Common Courtesy" back in August. His 'crime' was wearing his pants too low - something we've looked at before on this blog. Unbeknown to Leger, his return to the mall was a violation of that ban. Okay - simple so far, eh? But, this is where it all gets a bit silly...

Frantz Leger was with his parents, his sister and two cousins - all of whom attempted to stop the deputies arresting Frantz. The upshot of their resistance was that an estimated 20 deputies, two canine units and a police helicopter swarmed the area surrounding the mall's food court, and shutting down roads.

Now the Leger family say that the force used was not unrelated to the fact that they are Haitian, but the police say that is not the case and the situation arose because "the family got involved and tried to intervene and tried to resist the officers."

Sheesh! I bet it was cracking good fun to watch, but it all seems a bit dramatic over a pair of baggy pants.

Palm Beach Post

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 08:48 AM | Permalink

A 29-year-old Wenatchee man was charged with first-degree negligent driving after telling police that a pterodactyl caused him to drive his car into a light pole. . A breathalyser test showed only a minimal amount of alcohol.

According to witness reports, the man drifted from the northbound lane into the southbound lane, causing oncoming traffic to stop, before crashing into the light pole. When questioned about the cause of the accident, the man gave a one word answer - "pterodactyl."

I can only think that he had some kind of speech impediment and have spent hours trying to come up with something that sounds like pterodactyl - all to no avail. Perhaps he has a friend called Terry Dactil or, just maybe, Jurassic Park was a warning to us all.

HeraldNet

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:41 AM | Permalink

Perhaps little yappy dogs aren't so bad after all. In a tale worthy of Lassie, Tink, a Chihuahua/Pomeranian cross, chased and cornered a suspected car thief and then waited for the police helicopter to arrive. The suspect was arrested on suspicion of public intoxication and resisting arrest

"The Chihuahua gave him up," said California Highway Patrol officer Jeff Herbert.

Nah - 'fraid I can't bring myself to like the little rats. I mean, they're not real dogs are they!

My Way News

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 08:52 AM | Permalink

Back in August 2006, retired Judge Donald Thompson was convicted on four counts of indecent exposure and sentenced to serve four consecutive one-year sentences. Prosecutors alleged that he used a penis pump while presiding over trials.

In September of this year, Judge Thompson launched an appeal against his conviction, alleging a total of seven errors at his trial, including the use of illegally obtained evidence, improper jurors, violation of the hearsay rule and admission of improper evidence.

Thompson's attorney alleged that the prosecution altered the penis pump to make it work when it was presented as evidence; he also asked the court to take into account the fact that Thompson had been a judge for 24 years. Well, 24 years of pumping is bound to make the implement break down - Thompson should be thankful to the court for fixing it. In fact, I think he should write a thank you letter -

'Dear Sirs, I am writing to express my thanks to the Court for repairing my over-used penis pump....'

The former Judge, who has also forfeited his retirement pension due to the felony, is due to be released next spring.

Tulsa World

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:30 AM | Permalink

Atlanta based Yung Joc is, I am told, a rapper or should that be wrapper, given the handgun and armor piercing ammo found concealed in his luggage recently? Initially denying any knowledge of the 'extras' in his luggage, Yung Joc was released on $50,000 bond and scheduled for a court appearance.

Now you would think, wouldn't you, that given this amazing stroke of luck, Joc would have dressed smartly and arrived promptly at the court hearing. Nope - he was delayed, apparently due to family obligations, and arrived for his scheduled Wednesday morning appearance on Wednesday afternoon.

The judge, needless to say, was less than impressed and has scheduled another court appearance for 25 January.

Given that the concealed weapon charge carries a potential 18-month prison term, it seems that Yung Joc's million seller "It's Goin' Down" may have been prophetically titled.

Reuters

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:17 AM | Permalink

A woman in a Charleston suburb was charged with battery on a police officer after the officer said she wiped her nose on the back of his shirt.

Cpl. Elliott had arrested the 36-year-old woman after seeing her slap a man, bite him on the elbow and spit in his face. As he led her into the police station for booking on a charge of domestic battery, Elliott says that the woman wiped her nose on him.

Battery on a police officer is defined as intentionally making physical contact of an insulting or provoking nature with an officer - yep, wiping your nose on him would do it. Unless, of course, it's all a tissue of lies.

Comcast.net

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 08:53 AM | Permalink

New York State Supreme Court Justice Marcy Friedman has grown so tired of a series of lawsuits and countersuits that have arisen surrounding Sean Connery's house renovation that she has barred both sides from filing any more lawsuits without her express permission.

The problem arises from the fact that the Connerys occupy the top two floors of the house and another family, the Sultans, occupy the lower floors. The Sultans have taken issue with the noise and fumes that have arisen from the Connery's building works. They are, apparently, very shaken and very stirred.

Seattle Times

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:09 AM | Permalink

If you're DUI, don't park your car in the police parking lot!

llya Kovarik was charged with DUI after police said they found him intoxicated in his car -- while it was parked in the police department parking lot.

The sergeant, not recognizing the car or its driver, walked up to the guy and asked, "Who are you and what are you doing here?" To cut a long story short - the guy was drunk, got the munchies, and chose to park up in the police parking lot to eat and "for some peace and quiet."

Kovarik failed a field sobriety test and was taken into custody, from which he was released on $1,000 bond. A court hearing has been scheduled for January 30.

Daily Herald

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:00 AM | Permalink

An Eagle County man faces a whole work box full of charges after he accidentally shot himself with a nail gun; he was allegedly demonstrating how he was going to kill his companion.

Jose Sosa Vasquez, 28, faces charges of attempted murder, domestic violence, felony menacing, false imprisonment and wire-tapping after shooting himself with a nail gun. The woman, who would have been next in the line of fire if there had been any nails left, used sign language to communicate with the police - this after having dialed 911?

Vasquez was admitted to hospital with round the clock supervision until he can be transported to a detention facility, where details of the charges will be hammered out and pinned so tight to the guy that he can't break free. Yeah - they're really going to screw him with this one.

Denver Post

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:20 AM | Permalink

In Chicago the driver of a minivan interrupted a local TV newscast, while it was on the air, when he crashed into the glass-walled studio. He was charged on Christmas Eve with reckless driving. According to his sister, Gerald Richardson, who is 25 years old, suffers from mental problems.

Gives a whole new meaning to 'breaking news.'

Reuters

YouTube

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 08:46 AM | Permalink

Yesterday we heard that Santa has a multiple personality and yells ho f*****g ho as he rampages through New Zealand cinemas; today though, the news is far, far worse: I'm afraid I have to tell you that Santa is, in fact, a cross-dresser and celebrity-chaser. How else could you explain the fact that he turned up at Grauman's Chinese Theater in Hollywood dressed thus:

a red Santa hat, a blond wig, red lace camisole, purple G-string, black leg warmers and black shoes

Okay, his blood alcohol was just above the legal limit, but that's to be expected with all those glasses of sherry and the boozy mince pies he has to eat on Christmas Eve. He didn't get the Mel Gibson treatment either, he had to sober up and find his own reindeer, said Deputy Chief Ken Garner.

Los Angeles Times

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:41 AM | Permalink

Police tasered a man after he refused to stop urinating on a shop window.

The 24-year-old was observed to be relieving himself on a shop window at about 4.30am and the police directed him to stop. When he refused, he was arrested, when he allegedly became violent.

Capsicum spray was deployed but had no effect so a taser was used to subdue him. The man is to appear in court on January 18 charged with public nuisance and obstructing police.

However dumb this guy might be, you have to admire somebody who can carry on peeing while being sprayed with Capsicum!

couriermail.com.au

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:49 AM | Permalink

A 51 year old man has been arrested after driving a vehicle through the garage door of a vacant house - he was naked at the time.

The police report states that he ran a stop-sign at a T-intersection, sending his vehicle up a driveway and through a garage door of a home. Not content with driving into the garage door, following the crash the naked man took a walk around the house. Police eventually found him in the backyard and took him to hospital for treatment.

After being released from the hospital, the man was booked on charges of criminal trespass, indecent exposure and DUI.

Happy holidays everybody!!

az.central.com

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:37 AM | Permalink

In New Zealand, a gang of drunken Santas caused chaos in a cinema at the weekend, barging customers, damaging property and swearing. At least 50 of them entered through the main door, kicking things over, ripping down posters and smashing everything in sight. They shouted Ho f****ng Ho as they made their way through the foyer, eventually leaving the building from one of the cinemas, thereby triggering a fire alarm.

The cinema manager is quoted as asking "How often do a bunch of Santas just go and wreak havoc?"

Well the answer to that one is obvious - not very often, after all Santa knows better than anybody that the badly behaved get a sack of coal instead of presents.

Pretty stupid getting that drunk just before his biggest night of the year too.

Stuff.co.nz

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 08:53 AM | Permalink

A former funeral home owner has been charged with fraud for allegedly giving families cremated ashes that were not the remains of their loved ones,

The truth came to light when, having been shut down for operating without a license, the funeral home passed on 56 urns of cremated human remains to another funeral home. The ashes were labeled as unclaimed but when police contacted the families linked to the remains, it was discovered that they had already received and buried ashes - but obviously not those of their loved ones. Didn't they check to see if they recognized them, then?

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 08:47 AM | Permalink

An 8 year old boy is being taken to court accused of causing a ski-slope collision, which allegedly left the other party. a 60 year old man, with a shoulder injury.

At the time of the incident, the accused was 7 years old and weighed 48 pounds. The injured party seeks $75,000 compensation for: physical therapy for a torn shoulder tendon, vacation time, nursing and medical services provided by his wife, and other expenses.

How could such a lightweight incident result in such a heavyweight claim?

CBS News

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:38 AM | Permalink

In Uganda, 100 people have been arrested for not having toilets in their homes, despite the fact the area is in the midst of a cholera epidemic that has already claimed the lives of 8 people. However, police spokesman Hassan Kasinje has been reported as saying that although it is illegal in Uganda to build a home without a toilet, it is not an arrestable offense. What is supposed to happen is that a health officer should instruct them to build or they can be cautioned.

I imagine that the health officers don't fancy wading through three feet of sh*t in order to pass on the instructions.

Reuters

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:15 AM | Permalink

Prestigious jewelers Van Cleef and Arpels have sued German supermodel Heidi Klum, claiming that she copied their vintage clover design. They are seeking more than $25,000 in damages from Klum's company, Heidi Klum GmbH.

Listen guys - she's not gonna miss that quarter million, I just visited her site where she sells all sorts of stuff, including husband Seal's cds and her own signature!

Reuters

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:47 AM | Permalink

When Mel Gibson was arrested for drunk driving last year, he caused outrage with the anti-semitic comments he spat at the arresting officers. Now those same officers have been disciplined because they gave Gibson treatment that could be viewed as 'preferential.'

Well, it certainly seems that his treatment wasn't kosher! He wasn't palm printed, he didn't sign a statement, and an officer took Gibson to the pound to collect his car.

The moral of the story: if you're charged with DUI and want the cops to go easy on you, treat them to a screaming anti-semitic tirade. Beware, however, 'cos if your name's Paris it just ain't gonna work.

Reuters

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:32 AM | Permalink

Well, the 33 year old woman who sat on his lap in Danbury Mall certainly did!

Sandrama Lamy, 33, of Danbury, was charged with sexual assault and breach of peace, and was released on a promise to appear in court on Jan. 3. The police had no difficulty in finding the woman Santa described to them - she was on crutches.

Santa, aged 65, was embarrassed by the whole episode. Probably worried about what Mrs Clause will have to say about it too; he only comes once a year, so she can't afford to share him.

Comcast.net. News

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:42 AM | Permalink

A man suspected of stealing from Dunkin’ Donuts left behind a trail of footprints in the snow for police to follow.

The night manager was cleaning the donut shop in the early hours of the morning when a robber, decked out in a black woolen ski mask, walked into the store. Holding a handgun, he demanded money and the night manager
emptied the register. The thief got away with $70. Fortunately for the police, our hapless felon left footprints in the snow, which eventually turned into bike tracks. The police diligently followed the trail, which led to the 51 year old suspect.

Course, if all that tracking left the cops feeling a little peckish, the could always follow the trail back again. The moral of the story is - if you're gonna rob a Dunkin Donuts, only do it in the summer.

Wicked Local Cambridge

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 08:56 AM | Permalink

Lack of fingerprints at the scene was used in defense of armed robber Moses M Streete. The jury were more observant than the police in this case, however, because, when they examined a coat during the trial, they found a money roll totaling $1,300, a rubber glove, and a bandage in one of the garment's pockets - all of which had, apparently, gone unnoticed by police, prosecutors and the defense.

Frederick County State's Attorney J. Charles Smith that the coat pockets had been checked before the trial by Assistant State's Attorney Deborah Kemp and no money had been found. And defense attorney Scott L. Rolle said he had seen the coat before the trial but hadn't gone through the pockets.

The store was obviously out of fine-toothed combs.

Fosters.com

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:12 AM | Permalink

It wasn't such a happy Thanksgiving for Mr Nicholson of Jackson County; mind you, he'll probably watch his mouth in future! Having called his wife by an unidentified rude name, she threw a potato at him, which hit him on the nose and knocked him unconscious.

She told deputies that she didn't mean to hit her husband and called police as soon as he fell unconscious. The man told deputies he did not want to press charges, consequently, the woman was not arrested and no charges were filed.

Well, you've heard of cauliflower ears...

Online Athens

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 08:58 AM | Permalink

British singer, Amy Winehouse, she of the marvelous voice and muddled brain, has been arrested as part of an investigation into perverting the course of justice. I reported her husband's similar circumstances on this same blog a few weeks ago. He remains in custody.

Winehouse has canceled all future engagements saying that she can't possibly work while her husband is behind bars and, earlier this month, she was pictured wandering the streets of London at dawn wearing only a bra and jeans.

Poor Amy, can a celebrity ever have been more aptly named. When they next try to make her go to rehab, she sould say, 'yes, yes, yes.'

Reuters

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:15 AM | Permalink

A convicted criminal has moved in with a married couple against their wishes after giving their address in court as his home. I'm struggling with this one - could it possibly be true? In the UK we are so drenched in the sensational outpourings of our media that we now now longer recognize lies when we see them. No matter, here's the story as a direct cut and paste - nothing I could do to the text would make it seem any dumber.

Shane Sims, 19, has spent the last few days living with Brenda and Robert Cole after he was sentenced to a week's curfew for breaching a supervision order. But the couple claim the first they knew about it was when Sims, a friend of their daughter, moved in on Thursday – followed by security contractors who put a box in a bedroom to monitor his movements with an ankle tag.

Sims appeared before magistrates last Thursday where he admitted breaching a two-year supervision order imposed for assault.

He gave the Coles' Bristol address as his bail address but the Probation Service did not verify it.
Sims claims he was told he could stay by the Coles' 16-year-old daughter Tanya after he fell out with his father.

Now, forgive me for appearing a little bullish - but, if this 19 year old thug appeared at my house in a similar manner, I'm sure my husband would find ways to dissuade him from staying.

Metro.co.uk

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:05 AM | Permalink

In Athens, the notoriously congested Greek capital, a pedestrian has been charged with damaging property after walking over a car that was parked illegally on the pavement. As the car was blocking the pavement and he couldn't get past, he took the only option open to him. He was seen by the car's owner and reported to the police. Who detained Tasos Pouliasis, the car-walker, and his girlfriend briefly in a police cell.

As Poulasis himself has commented, it is likely he will be tried for property damage but police did not even bother giving the car owner a parking ticket.

Bravo, Mr Poulasis, city dwellers the world over salute you. Continue to walk the walk.

Reuters

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 08:50 AM | Permalink

Paris Hilton, that is...

It all started in September last year, when the hotel heiress was arrested for drunk driving and had her driver's license suspended. Silly Hilton continued to drive. She did well because it wasn't until January 2007 that she was pulled over for driving without a license. Obviously slow to learn, our girl was pulled over again in February, for driving without a license and speeding as well. Not the brightest thing she's ever done, and that's really saying something!

This time around, prosecutors decided that Paris needed to be taught a lesson for breaking the law, and in May 2007, she was sentenced to 45 days in jail.

She went to jail after the MTV movie award in June 2007. As with everything else in her life, her time as a jail bird wasn't easy as she bounced from solitary confinement, to a day of house arrest and back to jail again.

Saying that jail had 'changed her' Paris said she was gonna drop the dumb blond act. I'm glad it was an act, I didn't believe that anybody could be naturally that stupid. She says that she's going to be devoting time to charity - hmmm, she's probably focusing on charity beginning at home.

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:19 AM | Permalink

Eunice Lopez of South Florida has been charged with bigamy. Now when I went to school, bi meant two and, as Lopez has been accused of marrying ten men, surely she should be charged with polygamy?

Maybe I'm just being pedantic.

Lopez married all ten men between 2002 and 2006; it wasn't marriage she was hooked on though, it was money. Allegedly, she charged her husbands an unspecified amount to help them secure immigration status, continuing to extort money from them long after the wedding, and threatening to expose them if they didn't pay.

Maybe she's not so stupid after all - I mean, she has found a way to make marriage a profitable exercise, which is more than most of us do.

Beaumont Enterprise.com

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 08:57 AM | Permalink

In Southern India, police are hunting for two men who attacked a Hindu holy man, cut off his right leg and then made off with it. The leg supposedly has healing powers and its original owner is now recovering from his ordeal in hospital.

Local people believed that by touching the leg they could be healed of spiritual and physical problems.

The leg's owner has "the problem of the drinking" and the the thieves plied the old man with alcohol until he became unconscious, when they severed the leg at the knee. Serves 'em right if the magic is above the knee only and all they get for their efforts is a severe case of athlete's foot.

Let's hope police go out on a limb to solve this crime.

BBC

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 11:38 AM | Permalink

Earlier this year a woman was held for two days in a men's jail where officials mistook her for a man. Their mistake came to light when she was required to submit to a body cavity search, a routine procedure when processing male prisoners, according to the D.C. Department of Corrections.

The woman, Virginia Grace, was referred to as a male in every document received by the jail and one wonders why she hadn't said anything about the mistake. Could it be something to do with the reason for her imprisonment - Grace was charged with drug possession and failure to appear in court for a sexual solicitation charge. Perhaps being incarcerated with males provided an extra source of income.

Washington Post

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 11:16 AM | Permalink

A ten year old student in Marion County was arrested on Thursday, charged with possession of a weapon on school premises. Police said that school officials had found the girl cutting food during lunch using a knife that she had brought from home.

Even though other students said that the youngster had not threatened anybody with the knife, she was arrested and taken to the Juvenile Assessment Center.

They should assess the child as being a cut above the rest, recognizing that knives are tools, not weapons.

Local6.com

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:30 AM | Permalink

Can a show be classified as a celebrity? Surely, The Price is Right can...

Donna Tillman won the 2004 Pontiac GTO Coupe during her June 28, 2004, appearance on the game show. But, after she had paid for taxes and license, she was told that the car that had appeared on the show had mechanical problems.

Some eight weeks later, a car was delivered but it was not the car that had appeared on the show - it also had more miles on the clock than the displayed model. However, that was only the beginning of Tillman's problems: when she took her prize for a service at a dealership in her hometown she learned the car had major damage to its frame that had been repaired and concealed.

Now the supplier of the original vehicle is claiming that Tillman had wrecked the car herself and was trying to lay the blame for the damage on him. However, Tillman's defense claim that it was having the car repaired after a minor shunt that revealed the fact that the major damage the automobile had sustained.

Donna Tillman, come on down. Let's play Pass the Buck!

Reuters

Price is Right Game Directory

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:13 AM | Permalink

Twenty-seven year old Jorey Lee Brewis, who goes under the name of Rebekah Katherine, has filed a civil-rights lawsuit in Portland. He claims that Director, Max Williams, and 16 other state prison officials ignored what he refers to as his severe case of gender-identity disorder.

Brewis was so troubled that, while he was in his cell, he cut out his testicles cell and mutilated them. He used his fingernails to perform the surgery.

Initially sentenced to 70 months for robbery, Brewis is now serving an extra seven years for a series of convictions while behind bars for assault, carrying a weapon and supplying contraband.

Now, no matter what you think of the transgender issue, to be able to perform such surgery, this woman musts have balls!

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:05 AM | Permalink

A man in Philadelphia was set to receive four Christmas cards from Peru, each of which contained 40grams of cocaine. .

Agents discovered the cards by using infrared scanners. Once the true contents were revealed, a police officer, pretending to be a good neighbor delivered one of the cards by hand, saying it had been dropped off at his house by mistake. Then he read him his rights.

Now he knows (nose?) that dreams of a white Christmas are not to be sniffed at.

ABC2 Netcast

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 04:24 AM | Permalink

In Maine, a fire chief has been charged with being drunk behind the wheel of his truck. Now, it seems to me that if you are going to DUI, you don't draw attention to yourself by having the lights and sirens going. Yet, that is exactly what Russell Banks of Burlington did.

He was arrested following a complaint from a local resident that the truck was being raced past his home, even though there was no fire in the vicinity.

Discovered 'smelling of alcohol and with bloodshot eyes,' Banks was found to have twice the legal limit of alcohol in his blood.

Apparently, he was blasting the siren in retaliation for a neighborhood dispute. Sort of pouring oil on troubled waters and then setting fire to it...

Boston.com

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 04:15 AM | Permalink

Susan Butts, of Marshalltown, Iowa, hit the headlines earlier in the year after she was caught stealing toilet paper from the county courthouse and, theoretically at least, she could have faced two years in prison for her crime.

Following a recent psychological evaluation, however, she has been declared incompetent (or should that be incontinent) to stand trial. Despite the ruling, the judge has said that Butt may still have to answer for her crimes if her mental condition improves.

Assinine.

Times Republican

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 03:49 AM | Permalink

The Ottawa Citizen reports that Santa will not be responding to children's letters for a while, due to a problem with the elves - well one elf in particular.

It seems that a rogue elf, one of a band of 11,000 elves, has been writing obscene letters to children on Santa's behalf and. because of this, Santa's Canadian representative has had to shut the service down.

There's always one, isn't there.

Reuters

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 03:31 AM | Permalink

Tas Sinadinos worked for the Australian EDI Rail Pty Ltd and was being relocated to Sydney. Relocation to a strange city can be very unsettling and, at times, lonely, so you can understand that a guy might need to 'buy in' something for those long, lonely evenings.

Sinadinos chose to purchase company from escort agencies, which he charged to EDI via his corporate American Express Card. Together with liquor, his personal expenses came to $12,000. And Sinadinos claims this as a tax deductible expense.

EDI have sacked Sinadinos, so he has taken them to court, claiming unfair dismissal. He says that he can't see any difference between buying escort services and buying a rack on which to put food for his apartment. Well, I suppose that all depends on what he does with (or to) his escorts. If he puts food on them, no wonder the bill was so expensive, I mean, that would come under 'special requirements' surely.

Sydney Morning Herald

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:37 AM | Permalink

Aging German playboy, Rolf Eden, has filed suit against a 19-year-old Berlin woman because she refused to have sex with him, saying the he was too old for her . Eden is 77 and was shattered by the refusal because, he says, no woman has ever said that to him before. I wonder how many 19 year olds he has propositioned.

He regards himself has having been discriminated against due to his age. Well, I've seen the picture and, apart from being old, he's butt ugly too!

This man is well known in Germany for having been the king of Berlin nightlife in the 1950s and '60s. He is also said to have opened up Germany's first-ever discotheque and popularized stripteases in post-war West Germany. In his own mind, he is Germany's answer to Hugh Hefner.

There's your answer then! He's a dirty old man -or should that be flirty old man?

Spiegel Online

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:01 AM | Permalink

You really couldn't make this one up! In North Wales, police dogs are being trained to headbutt criminals rather than use their teeth. It is feared that allowing a dog to bite a criminal is an infringement of human rights. Oh, please!

This form of dog policing, known as a toothless tactic, has been developed due to an increase in the number of compensation claims from people who have been bitten by the dogs.

Deputy Chief Constable of North Wales, Clive Wolfendale, tells us that, Instead of biting, the dog is muzzled and launches itself like a missile at the midriff of the target. Er, right. What happens then, when the criminal is running away from the dog?

I don't know about toothless tactic, it sounds like toothless policing to me.

K9

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:57 AM | Permalink

Michael Santos, 38, was charged Friday with theft, criminal mischief and operating a vehicle after his driving privileges had previously been forfeited for life. His crime? Stealing an airplane to try and impress his girlfriend.

Unsurprisingly, Santos was drunk when he took his girlfriend to the airport and tried to prove to her that he could fly a plane. Well, actually, he can't fly a plan because they were heading down the taxiway when flames began shooting from one of the engines. The police report said that, half a mile along the taxiway, Santos missed the curve that would have taken him to the runway. As a result of this oversight, he chopped up soybeans with the propeller before getting stuck in the field.

His girlfriends comments are not recorded. Word from the wise, Santos, there are much easier ways of impressing your girlfriend (decency prevents me from detailing them online).

Comcast.net

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:16 AM | Permalink

In the criminal trial of a Chinese man accused of counterfeiting products of Disney and Warner Bros, a clerical error has delayed the proceedings.

Summoned to appear as damaged parties at the trial were: Titty, Paperino, Paperina, Topolino - although you probably know them better as Tweety Pie, Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, Donald's girlfriend, Daisy. The witnesses failed to appear but it is not known if they will be prosecuted for this.

AP

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:08 AM | Permalink

Kids can be so embarrassing can't they? Especially when they take your marijuana stash to the school's show and tell. Mind you, I bet the mother of the three year old boy who took 14 bags of marijuana to his day center in Queens last week was more than embarrassed - that's a bit more than would be needed for personal use, surely.

He did that other thing that kids do to embarrass you as well, you know that thing when they copy the things they hear you say at home, even the swear words. Apparently, at lunch time, the toddler started to get a bit worried about his stash, yelling "Hey, Give me my stuff back!" The report doesn't tell us at what time he got out his flick knife and started to use threatening behavior.

7online.com

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:43 AM | Permalink

In the Greek city of Patras, a legal battle is underway over a parrot's unpaid parking fine. Coco's perch occupies part of a metered zone outside a pet shop and local police have ordered his owner to pay a $650 fine. Thus far, the owner had ignored the fine and says that if Coco has to go back inside the shop he will die from lack of social interaction.

The deputy mayor of Patras insists that the parrot's security is of paramount concern to the council but refuses to back down. He has ambitious plans to use parking revenue for funding bicycle lanes and pedestrian zones.

I hope they don't wheel clamp him!

BBC

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:25 AM | Permalink

Bah Humbug from the Brits.

Car maintenance chain Kwik Fit is currently tied up in a bitter legal battle with the UK Performing Rights Society (PRS). It’s alleged that Kwik Fit’s mechanics allowed their radios to be played within earshot of the public. According to the PRS this constitutes broadcasting copyrighted work without a license, for which they are demanding £200,000 in damages.

As if this wasn't enough, when the PRS discovered that kids sing in a carol concert at the premises, they declared that the premises were under licensed and, unless they wanted to pay more fees, the kids must stick to old and out of copyright songs only.

Altogether now: 'tis the season to be jolly, tra la la la la

TorrentFreak

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:16 AM | Permalink

A 63-year-old woman was arrested Sunday after sheriff's deputies said she tried to enter Walt Disney World's Magic Kingdom theme park with a loaded gun, some scissors and a knife.

Well, so long as she wasn't running with scissors in her pocket, what's the problem?

Local6.com

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 08:59 AM | Permalink

Kiefer Sutherland has begun his prison sentence for a drunk-driving conviction after surrendering to Los Angeles police on Wednesday. He was not due to turn himself in until 21st December, when there is a scheduled break in the shooting of 24, but, because the writers' strike has resulted in a delay in the series filming, he decided to check in early and get it over and done with.

Judge Stuart M. Rice also sentenced Sutherland to five years probation, and insisted the star must complete an 18-month alcohol education program and attend weekly therapy sessions for six months.

No mention of 24 hours anywhere.

SFGate.com

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:41 AM | Permalink

If you're pretending to be dead the last thing you do is pose for a photograph, especially one that is digitally date stamped, yet that is exactly what John Darwin did. Darwin vanished in March 2002 from his home in northeast England and last week turned up, tanned and healthy, at a police station stating that he had suffered memory loss for the past five years but thought that he might be a missing person.

In the intervening years, Darwin had been pronounced dead and his wife had built a new life on the proceeds of his life insurance.

The final wheel fell off the Darwins' wagon when a British tabloid published a photograph of Darwin with his wife that was taken in a Panama apartment last year.

Mrs Darwin is en route back to England to face the music. I suspect that before long she'll wish her husband really was dead.

Reuters

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:28 AM | Permalink

My mother always used to say that your misdemeanors catch up with you. Perhaps Meredydd Hughes didn't have the benefit of such a wise parent.

Meredydd Hughes is the chief constable of South Yorkshire Police and former chairman of roads policing at the Association of Chief Police Officers (ACPO). As such, he carried the responsibility for ensuring that Brits were sensible in their use of the roads. I was personally witness to an impassioned plea he made to a group of people he called 'petrolheads,' in which he encouraged them to keep to the speed limit. It was an appeal that was broadcast nationwide.

Imagine the delight in our hearts then when we heard the news that Meredydd (pronounced Mer-eh-dith) has been caught driving at 90 mph in a 60 mph limit zone!

I find it strange that he has been banned from driving for six weeks - I'm sure anybody else committing such an offense would be banned for much longer than that. Still, it gave us all a good laugh.

I suspect that from now on he will be known as Meredydd Petrolhead Hughes.

AFP

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:20 AM | Permalink

I've put this in the Dumb Justice category because it certainly wasn't the criminal who were dopes in this instance!

From Berlin comes the news that two convicts on day-release from prison have been caught tending a healthy crop of 1,200 cannabis plants!

The felons were on furlough so that they could find jobs for when they were released. Methinks they had actually set up their own job creation scheme. The valuable crop was found in a warehouse and was, apparently, destined for export to Holland. Ten out of ten for initiative.

Reuters

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:11 AM | Permalink

I'm being a little broad here in my use of the word 'celebrity' but I think it fits.

The Hershey Company is under fire for making a product that law enforcement says resembles crack cocaine.

In fact, Hershey's Ice Breakers breath fresheners look so much like cocaine that, when they first saw them, narcotics officers ordered a field test to determine the contents. The fear is that similarities between the newly released mints and the 'traditional' packaging of deadly drugs could put children in danger.

I'm not sure whether I'm supposed to recoil in horror or not. But, if you're interested, I'm not.

Reuters

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 10:22 AM | Permalink

Actually, this criminal is not dumb at all - in fact, I am in awe of his resourcefulness.

This particular criminal is German and he is a thief, but he is a thief with style. He used a flower pot to help him steal a $221,000 Porsche.

As the 56 year old Porsche owner drove the car out of the garage he heard a scraping sound and got out to investigate. As he was bending down to remove the flower pot that was jammed up against the tire, the thief, that is, the person who had put the flower put there in the first place, pushed the legal owner aside, jumped into the gray 997 and drove off into the distance.

Hmmm...

Reuters

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 10:16 AM | Permalink

Singer, Akon, is facing criminal charges after a fan said she suffered concussion when the hip-hop star tossed a teenager off the stage and onto her in the concert crowd.

Audience members report that one of the spectators lobbed something at Akon, causing the singer to ask the crowd to point out the culprit. A security guard picked out a 15-year-old and sent him up to the stage, where the singer hoisted him onto his shoulders and flung him into the crowd.

This isn't the first time that the hip-hop star has brushed with controversy - in April, he was criticized for having simulated sex on stage with a fourteen year old girl.

The title of his latest album seems very apt - it's called Konvicted

CNN

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:12 AM | Permalink

Three men dressed as women were arrested at a Memphis McDonald's after starting a fight at the restaurant's drive-through window, then attacking the store's crew and vandalizing the property.

Oh dear, I hope they didn't break their nails.

MyFox

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:06 AM | Permalink

Craig Wilson thought he was being clever when he dumped his car and then claimed it had been stolen. He fraudulently claimed $10,282 on the back of this 'theft.'

The car might have been in gear, but his brain certainly wasn't, because he left a Mapquest Printout from his home to the cars final location, outside a Jacksonville apartment complex, inside the vehicle. So, when the apartment complex owner complained about the abandoned car, it didn't take investigator's too long to find the owner. Perhaps it didn't occur to Wilson that maps can be read backwards.

Wilson was sentenced to five years probation.

Insurance Journal

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:38 AM | Permalink

In Stockton, North East England, Michael Carney said he couldn't possible be guilty of serial flashing because his genitals were too small. He showed photographs of the offending article to prove the point. Unfortunately for him, the jury were not deceived and Michael Carney, 41, was charged with seven counts of outraging public decency. Following their verdict, the jury were told that the father-of-two was earlier found guilty of five sexual assaults.

Size, it seems, doesn't matter.

Carney was released on bail, for sentencing next year.

BBC

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 08:53 AM | Permalink

If you're ever passing through Eastpointe in Michigan and feel the need for a pizza, just make sure you pay for it. The consequences for failure to pay can be dire.

I cite the case of 19 year old Jessica Gray, who was arrested after she and her friends refused to pay for a delivery of pizza, ribs, chicken, shrimp and a soda valued at $17.18. After taking delivery, Gray slammed the door and joined four other female occupants inside - ranging in age from 14 to 21 - in yelling insults and threats when the delivery boy didn't leave.

Attending officers "could hear the occupants laughing and whispering inside but refusing to answer the door. The officers advised the occupants that if they refused to come to the door, it would be opened by force."

True to their word, police used a battering ram to break down the apartment door and arrest Gray.

The words sledgehammer, crack, and nut spring to mind.

Newsok.com

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:44 AM | Permalink

This paraphrase of the vintage commercial My Goodness, My Guiness seems particularly apt considering the report from Dublin, Ireland of the theft of 450 full kegs from the Guinness brewery.

Police said a lone man drove into the brewery on Wednesday and hitched his truck to a fully loaded trailer awaiting delivery to city pubs. The trailer contained 180 kegs of Guinness stout, 180 kegs of U.S. lager Budweiser and 90 kegs of Danish beer Carlsberg. (Bud and Carlsberg are brewed by Guinness under license).

The thief had obviously heard that Guinness is Good for You

Citizen-Times.com

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:11 AM | Permalink

Really, this should be Dumb Press but I don't have a section for that. (Note to self: might be some mileage here).

In the Press Republican, self-styled Online Community and News Source for Clinton, Essex, and Franklin Counties of Northeastern New York I see they are giving explicit details about how I can 'groom' people to fulfill my sick sexual fantasies.

Of course, the tutorial masquerades as a report concerning Sean Sweeney, aka 'Vinny,' but I can see through the facade.

You have to see it to believe it, so click on the link:

Free Tutorial - Grooming Women for Sex

Posted by Dianne Sandland at 09:02 AM | Permalink