IS THAT A SWORD IN YOUR HAND OR ARE YOU PLEASED TO SEE ME?
Imagine the embarrassment - you hear a lady in distress and, having buffed your armor to a worthy shine, you sally forth, sword in hand, to help her. Arriving at the source of the woman's cries, you kick down the door and, with sword extended, you enter. What you find, however, is a lonely neighbor watching a pornographic movie.
This is exactly what happened to James Van Iveren of Oconomowoc in Wisconsin. Unfortunately, our gallant hero had to contend with something more than embarrassment. First, police seized his sword, which is a family heirloom, and then they carted him off to jail.
Our blushing knight in shining armor was charged with criminal trespass while using a dangerous weapon, criminal damage to property while using a dangerous weapon and disorderly conduct while using a dangerous weapon, all criminal misdemeanors that carry a maximum total penalty of 33 months in jail.
Laughter apart, there is a serious message here: don't extend your sword and enter unless you're sure of your ground - you could end up losing your family heirlooms.