A man in Johor, Indonesia, complained to police when his wife almost severed his penis. He had misguidedly made comparisons between his two wives and their prowess in bed. The older wife didn't fare too well in the comparison and put her kitchen knife to good use.

Despite shock, and, I imagine, a not inconsiderable amount of pain, the husband managed to pull on his trousers and ride his motorcycle to a nearby hospital, where doctors reattached the organ. They only needed eleven stitches.

The useless reattached to the hopeless. I expect he walks with a limp.

Reuters